Reflections

On this final day of 2010, I've not felt compelled to think back over the year.  I've not wanted to dwell on the ups an downs.  Instead I sit here doing my normal thing.  I'm here in the present.  I read the blogs on my list and wish that more were updated today.  I smile at the cat curled comfortably next to my husband's Bible on the couch.  I am again thankful to be in this place at this time.

I consider my friend, Ashley, and am grateful for her parents and their dedication to choose life.  Choosing life is a reflection of God.  Awesome.  I consider another family waiting and working patiently for their Ukrainian child.  Their desire to care for an orphan is a reflection of God.  Awesome.  My heart grows heavy when I consider my friend, Jan.  Cancer has invaded her life aggressively.  Yet, she has chosen to live with her daughter and redeem this time to the best that she can.  What a lesson for me to learn!  Sounds a bit like another reflection of God, doesn't it?  My son is defending his faith against an atheist.  Their conversation challenges me to grow more intimate with my LORD.  It requires me to see the reflection of God in His Word.

I know I can't change the past.  It has happened.  I will be exposed to the consequences of it.  And, I can fully trust God for all I need in the present.  I am so thankful to be surrounded by reflections and remembrances and realities of my God.  Awesome!

(Father God, thank you for your great and mighty presence in my life.  Thank you that you surround me with reflections of yourself in so many places.   What a joy!  Father, I pray that as this calendar year closes you will be a welcome, comforting, sustaining presence to Ashley, Angela, Jan, and us.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Straddling a Fence

Are you on the fence?  Are you lukewarm?  Do you try to stand in the place of neutrality?  Do you find yourself saying, "I'm not real sure how I feel about that.  I don't know if I'm for or against it?"

God tells us in plain language that we are either for Him or against Him.  We either believe in Him or we don't (John 3:18).  He also tells us how He feels about lukewarm Christians sitting on a fence (Revelation 3:16).

Ultimately, it does not really matter if you are for or against something (abortion, lying, adultery, etc.).  Your job is to find out where God stands on the issue.  If God hates divorce and you love God, you hate divorce.  My own personal experience is filled with things that God hates.  It makes me want to cry.  But God is faithful to forgive.  (Thank You, Lord God.)  He is faithful to use those that love Him for His purpose.  He is faithful to heal.  He is wonderful.  He is the everlasting God.  Daily we are called to take up our cross, bring our flesh under control, love the things that God loves and hate the sin that God hates.  We are not to be bench warmers on the fence.  If God hates divorce, do everything you can to keep it from your marriage.  If you must divorce, remember that God loves you so much that He gave His only Son that You might have everlasting life.  Seek God's forgiveness.  Then, do everything you can to keep divorce away from this point forward.  But, don't waver in the middle.  That is just sickening.  Be hot or cold about homosexuality, idolatry, covetousness, etc.  Just don't ride the fence.

(Father God, help me to always recognize and stand on your side.  And, when I fail, Father, please forgive me.  Thank you for making your position clear through your Word.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

My Testimony

Does your family know the important things you want them to know? If you died today, what do you want your husband to remember? What do you want your son or daughter to hold dear through the remainder of their life? What do you want your extended family to hear you say one last time? What do you want your friends to know?

Do they know what your favorite song is and why it is your favorite? Do they know your favorite food and what makes it so yummy to you? Do they know about your relationship with Jesus? Do you have a relationship with Jesus?

The most important thing you can share today or leave behind is your testimony - the legacy of your life.

(Father God, help me to tell those around me that I love them daily. Help me to share Your love, salvation, and hope with everyone I meet. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Following a Suffering Servant

(This entry follows on my previous blog entry about God and suffering.) I talked about how those that we are intimately involved with are the ones that can cause the greatest amount of suffering and loss. The parent-child relationship, the spousal relationship, the child-parent relationship - these all can be devastating but these same relationships are the ones that bring us the greatest joy!

The intimacy of a spousal relationship (husband/man and wife/woman only within the bonds of marriage) is incredibly fulfilling physically and emotionally. The intimacy of bearing a child is also a fulfilling endeavor that can lead to joy as your child takes his first steps, graduates from high school, marries her sweetheart, or confidently takes a new job. The intimacy of caring for an aging parent can provide insights into knowing the parent beyond just that and into knowing the parent as a person.

So what relationship does Jesus have with us? Creator to creation. The One who created us in intimately involved in His creation. That's how He came to be a Suffering Servant. And, that's why it is in God's character to suffer. He put so much care and joy and love into creating us that when we disobey and dishonor Him he suffers. It is because He cares so much. Think about it. If you don't care about the school bully, do you suffer because of him? No. Suffering only comes when care is present. It happens when you want the best for those around you and they don't seem to want it for themselves.

Yes, God wants what is best for us and we are disobedient slugs. We think we know better that the One that has infinite wisdom and knowledge. We cause our Creator AND ourselves to suffer. Then, when we get back on the right track, we bring our Creator AND ourselves great joy. Yes, this is where I want to be - on the joy side.

(Father God, please forgive me for causing you to suffer. Thank you for the immense joy when I am obedient. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)

Suffering Servant

How could God be a suffering servant? I mean, isn't God perfect? What could cause Him pain, distress, injury, loss, a penalty, or death? Why would He patiently or willingly allow or permit it?

I don't like suffering. I don't understand how God allows and participates in suffering. Yet, He has told me why.

Mark 1:41 - "And Jesus, moved with compassion..." Mark 3:5 - "...being grieved for the hardness of their hearts..."

God is moved with compassion and it grieves Him when our hearts are hard against our fellow humans. So, how does that explain suffering? Suffering comes from us. Oh, yes, it does. I love my children. Yet, as a parent, my deepest pain and distress comes from those children. When they don't recognize how I care for them or when they are on a destructive path, it causes me pain. I love my parents. Yet, a deep loss that I have felt came when my father died. I feel pain as I watch my mother go through cancer treatments. I love the father of my children. Yet, divorce has caused intense pain there. I love my husband. Yet, I know that he holds my heart and could cause devastation. Unfortunately, I have also caused others pain. Unfeeling words spoken without thought, rash judgement made without knowing all the details, taking for granted care and consideration provided for me - all this results in suffering.

How is it that Jesus could suffer? His love for us is so great that when we step outside what is good for us and harden our hearts to Him, it grieves Him. He suffers. We suffer. Ouch.

None the less, Jesus does what is right. He is the truth. If you read the first part of Mark 3, it tells of Jesus healing even though He had been set up by the hard hearts of men. He wanted men to desire the healing of the injured one. But they didn't. They only wanted to "catch" him violating one of their own laws. Take note, Jesus didn't violate His law.

Sadly, suffering will remain as long as we are disobedient.

(Father God, forgive me for causing you pain. Thank you for the forgiveness you freely and quickly offer. Help me to be aware of when I am causing the suffering of others so that I may repent of that. Thank you for spending time talking with me and teaching me. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)

Cat Hair in the Escape

Yesterday after a wonderful lunch with my husband, we were sitting in our vehicle, a Ford Escape, talking. As we were discussing things, my eyes took in the grit and grime that had collected in the console. So, I started cleaning.

Our conversation turned to the cleaning and how quickly things get dirty. My husband commented that the vehicle needed to be washed, vacuumed, waxed, etc. It was then that I noticed the cat hair.

Our cat is an indoor cat. She hasn't always been an indoor cat. She used to spend as much time outside as she did inside. Several years ago during the summer, she decided that it was much safer and comfortable to stay inside. It's not much safer or comfortable for us humans living inside because that cat still has her claws and she won't stay still long enough to for us to clip them. The last time her claws were clipped we had to sedate her. That should give you some idea as to her personality. She loves on her terms, not yours.

She has never been in the Escape. She does not ride well. I think she isn't in control so she doesn't like it. Yet, her hair is tucked in nooks and cranny's of the Escape. It is under the seat, on the seat, in the carpet, on the dash, on the window, and working it's way in the glove box.

Isn't that a lot like sin? The evidence of it is everywhere. Even if my sin does not take place in one particular area, the evidence of it is still there in other areas - just like the cat hair from the cat that has never been in the Escape. Now, think about this. It travels far. Our Escape takes us on trips hundreds of miles from our cat.

Where have you left small evidences of sin? Did you leave it at the grocery store when you were frustrated with how slow the line was moving? Did you leave it with your child as you sent him off to school with negative words ringing in his ears? Did you leave it on your husband as you silently let him know that he forgot to take out the trash?

(Father God, please forgive me for not noticing how far the evidence of my sin has spread. Help me to clean up the sin and remove it from my life. Thank you for the wonderful cat that you created to help me learn more about You and your ways. You are an awesome God. May you be honored by this today, in the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Nothing New

I've heard for years, "There's nothing new under the sun." Of course, desiring myself to be creative, I think, "Sure there is."

Well, I was reading Daniel 6 (v1-10) today and it just made me mad. Those politicians had to invent a way to cause Daniel to break the law. They searched and searched but did not find anyway they could defame him. There was no insider trading rumors, no sexual infidelity, no kickbacks, no skimming the funds, no negative campaigning. The Word says, "They could find none occasion nor fault." Basically, he was an honest, hardworking, excellent, and true citizen.

Does that remind you of anything? God showed me that there is nothing new. Just as politicians then had to invent a way to make true, honest, hardworking individuals into lawbreakers, they are doing it today also.

(Father God, I thank you for the signs of the times. My heart quickens with anticipation and fear. Forgive our nation, Father. We are a sorry bunch to say the least. We have openly ignored your direction and have followed each one after our own selfish desires. Forgive us! Have GREAT mercy on us! In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.)

Stand Amazed

I often stand amazed at how God directs our paths. Just this week my mom and I were discussing how He laid the foundation for me to be in the right place for her to have good access to medical care during her cancer treatments. These are plans that He had in place long before we knew we would need them.

My husband and I were discussing how blessed we are to be together. Both of us have wondered what it would have been like if we had met in our 20's. As we considered that, we came to the realization that we would not cherish what we have now if we had not traveled our individual roads. I am so amazed at what God did there also.

So, why am I amazed? I know the Creator of the Universe. Why would I be surprised and amazed when things work for His glory? Does this show a lack of faith on my part? Am I missing something? No, I pray that I will always be amazed at God. He deserves my incredulous wonder and adoration. He deserves my fear and trembling. He is due all my, well, everything.

(Father God, forgive me for holding back. I pray that You will teach me to love You with total abandon and adoration. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Life- Worthless or Valuable?

Over the past few weeks, I have constantly been reminded how valuable life is. My daughter has a friend whose sibling drowned. My mom is fighting cancer. My friend, Ashley, is just fighting.

I do NOT and will NOT comprehend those people that place little or no value on life. God gives us life. He gives us human beings eternal life. He also gives us the option to chose where we will spend that eternal life - with or without Him. What have you chosen?

Life is not worthless. It has not come about by a string of random chances that "evolve" from goo to you. Life is granted by the Supreme Creator, God, in whose image humans have been created.

Life is valuable from the moment it is conceived in the womb. Abortion is a choice that places no value on the life of others. Life is valuable on this earth for many years. Euthanasia is a choice that places no value on the life of others. Life is valuable to those around you. Suicide is a choice that places no value on your own life. Murder is a choice that places no value on the life of others.

Each choice is a decision that has to be lived with by someone. Do you see that? Someone will continue to live here on this planet with the consequences of that choice. The one making the choice will live with it eternally.

Life is valuable. Live it.

(Father God, thank you for creating me in your image and giving me eternal life with you. Lord, comfort those that have lost a family member. Heal those fighting illness. Support those that have lived long lives. Convict those of us that have not placed value on life. Forgive us, Father God. Please show us great mercy. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.)

Traveling Thoughts

This is what happens when I am traveling and thinking at the same time. These are notes that I saved on my cell phone. I've posted them like I thought them. Grammar beware! I think I was planning to expand on the first thought for a blog entry and I may still. And, obviously the second thought is an extension of the first thought, perhaps a bit more poetic. Both entries were made when traveling down Oklahoma Highway 3.

11/24/2009 4:34 PM

Ever notice how each tree is different? They don't have the same number of branches or leaves. They don't grow at the same rate.

5/7/2010 6:50 PM -

Green, everywhere green. Dark green leaves of the oak tree. Medium greens. Light greens of new leaves. Green grass. Dotted with purple vetch and orange Indian paint brush. Light tan topping green wheat-like plants. Multicolor green obscuring tree trunks. Silver maple leaves casting a delicate green hue briefly in the green sea. Dark evergreens. Lacy ferns. Rare and random rocks. Suddenly the sea of green is broken by an expansive blue mirror, cool and inviting. Where are the reds, yellows, and oranges? Where did the shades of grey go? There is no strict contrast of black and white. Green reaching up to the expanse of sky. Curtains of green hanging in gentle waves. Dresses of green dancing across my vision. Short dresses, long dresses, fluffy dresses, slim dresses. Gorgeous array. Waving arms, singing joyous praise.

(Father God, thank you for the blessings of the seasons. Thank you for the simple yet so complex examples of your creation. Thank you for allowing me to see them. Help me to always be aware of the beauty around me. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Dinosaurs, Turkey Bacon, and Toilet Paper

Do you see those words together very often? I never thought I'd see them together in the same paragraph let alone a sentence. But, that is what greeted us this morning. We were TP'd.

Now, I could have been upset and frustrated because of the vandalism. I dislike TP'ing. I don't see the reason for it. I have no desire to participate in such an activity. Granted, it's a fairly minor form of vandalism with few consequences. It's work on the targeted family or person due to the clean up and has little effect on the one doing it.

However, today I am grateful for Dinosaurs, Turkey Bacon and Toilet Paper. It was these items that caused our family to come together. First, we just kinda wondered. Then, we began the suspect list. Next, we started the clean up and questions. Why is someone picking on us? Was it malicious or just a practical joke? And, why did they use Turkey Bacon on the bushes and storm door? Turkey Bacon?

We joked about needing to call NCIS for the investigation. Gibbs will solve the case. Hey, maybe the cat was the culprit. The poor dinosaurs all lost their heads. So did Barbie. Turkey Bacon?

After the cleaning was nearly done, we ended up trying to solve the case at Denny's. We had a long list of suspects. And the true culprit probably isn't even on the list.

None the less what someone else mean for harm, God used for good. Listening to the kids banter back and forth, enjoying a good breakfast as a family, and just having time together was a awesome blessing. Yes, there are still some remnants of paper in the tree. Eventually, they will blow away or get rained down. It's been a good morning.

(Father God, thank you for the blessing of family. Thank you that You caused us to be together. Thank you for the smiles. We are truly blessed by You. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Getting Back to Full

I often run my bucket more empty than I should. Bucket of what? Anything. Occasionally, I run my vehicle pretty low on gas. I could easily run out and then would have the added burden of searching out fuel. I probably would have to walk to the nearest gas station. That would require me to expend energy that could be better used elsewhere.

Occasionally, I let my fridge get low on groceries. It requires more thought and creativity to come up with a meal on just a few items than it does when there is plenty from which to choose.

Occasionally, I let my spiritual nourishment run low. Praise God, the Holy Spirit never leaves me so I can't run completely out. But, sometimes the everyday cares of life seem to absorb almost all of my bucket. I have to go back to the well to fill it up again and again. Here lately it seems that I let it get more dry than normal. So, God provided a weekend for my husband and I to recharge. God rearranged some priorities and sparked new interest in filling my bucket.

(Father God, thank You for everlasting springs of life. I am so grateful that I can come to You for all my spiritual needs. And that You will meet my physical needs as well.. Father, help me to grasp all that my bucket will hold. Help me to use each drop wisely. Help me to love with Your love. Remind me to daily come to you to refill my bucket. A full bucket is more easily shared and can meet the needs of many. Help me to keep my bucket close to You and full. Thank You. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Farewell, Trace

Yesterday we had to say good bye to our cat, Trace. This adorable little cat came into our lives about 6 years ago. She had the sweetest disposition of any cat I have ever known. She was a little heater while curled up next to you or in your lap. She was most talkative early in the morning.

She was a gentle cat. She never attacked anything other than a pecan. She would bat that pecan all around the house. We found it in some interesting places.

She chose my daughter as her caregiver. She slept with my daughter. Oh, she'd let others feed her and pet her but my daughter belonged to her.

Trace will be missed. Yet, I thank God that He allowed us the time with her. No, we don't know what happened. She got ill quickly. The Vet indicated it might have been a brain issue, tumor or injury. Reflection leads us to believe that she probably had a tumor.

Our hearts are heavy and tears come easily. But, we are comforted by the One who created her and sustained her. How much more we are loved by Him.

(Father God, thank you for Trace. She reflected the awesome design that You put into each of Your creatures. She enriched our lives and reminded us of You continually. Thank You for holding our hearts in Your hands as we grieve. Thank You for loving us. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.)

The Green Mile

The family watched "The Green Mile" starring Tom Hanks and written by Stephen King. It's an interesting story about life as a prison guard on death row set in the 1930's.

One of the things that struck me during the movie was that John Caffey was tired. He had been "given" a gift of being able to see a person's heart when they touched him. I wonder how old he was supposed to be? If Tom Hanks' character had an extended life span, how long had John Caffey had his gift?

I was struck by his decision to stick with the execution. Is that what we are to do? The Bible plainly tells us.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:9-10

We are to continually do the right thing. Are you tired? Do the right thing. Are you stressed? Do the right thing. Are you lonely, bored, hungry, frustrated? Do the right thing.

Who are we to say that our time has come to an end? Our lives remain in God's hands. He may still have jobs for us to accomplish. And if we are not here to do the job, someone else will be called upon to do our part.

(Father God, help me to do the right thing according to Your Word and standards. Thank you for the leading of the Spirit so that I might know what the right thing is. Help me to show my family that choosing to do the right thing always honors You. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Mundane and Routine

I really hate mundane tasks. I hate those overly repetitive things that require not thought to completing. They bore me. They offer no challenge to living.

Yet, they must be done. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning out the gutter - all things that are routine and boring but have to be done or the results are, well, horrible.

But, routine can help us accomplish many things. I'm missing a bit of routine in my life. Since school is out, I don't have anything necessary for scheduling. Therefore, my day is random and unpredictable. I prefer the random and predictable to happen within a routine. Yes, I don't always get what I want and I see an opportunity to exercise some self-control. So, here goes...

(Father God, I need your help today and always. I know that you are an orderly God and not a god of chaos. You know what is good for me. I ask now that you help me establish a routine that accomplishes your good purpose. Thank you for the assistance you give freely and abundantly. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Recipes

I bought a "Cooking Light" magazine the other day. After pouring through each page, I only found about 3 recipes that I'd like to try. I'm a picky eater. I like plain, simple, quick meals. I discovered why I hate making a roast. It takes too long to cook. After more than 10 years of working full time regular hours, I have to retrain my brain to start cooking earlier in the day. This is no easy task. Retraining a 40 something year old brain has its challenges.

Fortunately, God has provided a wonderful husband for me. My spouse will attempt to eat anything I attempt to make. He supports me. He encourages me. And, he is honest with me. If it's not good, he will let me know. This kind of environment has a way of making it possible to attempt something outside the "norm" and occasionally end up with a new favorite food.

Probably not my new favorite, but I won't know until I try.

(Father God, thank you for the spouse you provided for me. Your timing and selection are incredible. I love how he mirrors Your interest and care in the little things of my life. I have learned so much about You from him. Bless him today as he works. Give him straight paths. Guide his thoughts and speech. Help him to honor You in everything that he does. In the name of Jesus, Your son, I pray. Amen.)

Gloomy and Grey

It's a little gloomy and grey this morning. Yet, the birds are diligently seeking their food. I hear their melody of chirps and tweets. I watch as they wander about the yard checking my tomato plants.

I'm thankful that my Great God provides for their every need. Their creator and sustainer also created and sustains me. And, best of all, He created me in His own image. I am loved. I am cherished. I am His child. I choose to believe what He says is true. I trust Him. I talk with Him. I love Him because He first loved me.

(Father God, thank You for being the great I AM. Thank You for showing me that there is so much even in what I consider a gloomy and grey day. I pray that You will continue to remind me of all that You are. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.)

Another Cancer Adventure

Well, Mom has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. We are going today to schedule the surgery required. Mom has been a tower of strength even though she's now only about 5' 4". She has been such a sweet example through all this.

I haven't been such an example. I've been whiny and stressed. My flesh thinks this isn't fair. Why does she have to do this again? Why? Why? Why the changes to her way of life? I have many questions and can't see the answer right now. I rely on the knowledge that God has the answers.

(Father God, thank you for your care. Thank you for the answers that I can't see. You know and that's all I need to know. Please heal according to Your grace and mercy. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Something Always Changes

It has been an incredible academic year. The 5th Grade Class' treasured year is over. Now, my role is changing again. I'm a little unsure of this new change, but I know that God will see me through. There is excitement and nervousness.

I will be working in my husband's business. I've got to learn everything about it in a short time. I know that God has prepared me for this time. I have a degree in Business Administration that I have never used. Now, it is time.

(Father God, please lead as I venture into this new area. I pray that you will strengthen my husband and give him clear direction. Show me where I can support him and how to be an encouragement to him. Thank you, Lord, for the jobs that are on our plate. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.)