Life Writing: Dodge Polara

I have a few assorted early childhood “pictures” in my mind.  Some are of Head Start.  One is having the cots ready for our naps and another is riding in the 1972 Dodge Polara with Mom driving and going down the really big dip in the road.  The time I busted out my top four front teeth while climbing in the dirty clothes pile really was A or T's fault.  One of them left the number five washtub in the mound of clothes Mom was getting ready to take to the laundry mat.  When I started up the pile and pushed down on one side of the tub, the other side came up and busted me right in the chops.  Two of my teeth were already loose but two weren’t quite ready to come out.  They did anyway.  Yeah, that's a pretty "picture".

Ninth grade, T and I both attended the new Broken Bow High School.  T is in the first class to graduate from the new building.  I am in the first class to complete all four high school years in it.  This was the year that I read the “Count of Monte Cristo”.  I have never forgotten that story. (Shiver)

Along somewhere around this time, Dad began building a house primarily by himself.  It is a beautiful log home with 3 bedrooms and an outhouse.  It has no electricity, is heated by wood, and the remaining utilities are run off gas.  At 16 years old I thought this was horrible.  We were moving back to a time in the "old" days.  After we moved in, I became an expert at running over to Grandma's house each morning to take a shower and get ready for school.  At least she had indoor plumbing and a place for me to use my hair dryer.  Those are critical things to a teenager in the '80's.  It took a long time but I finally realized that it was an incredible thing my parents did.  They sacrificed so that they could have their own home and land.  

During tenth grade, we moved to the boonies.  Yes, the real boonies.  It’s just a mile past the end of the earth which is conveniently located in McCurtain County.  I got my driver’s license, barely, that year and started driving to school each day.  Yup, I was driving the same 1972 Dodge Polara that Mom used to take me to Head Start way back when.  I took Drivers Ed and Drafting this year.  Mr. Rick Banta was our drafting teacher.  His wife had been my third grade teacher.  Ah, the joy of small towns.

Perspective

"I did not get the job," she posted, "The good news - God has a better one in mind for me."

This posting was quickly followed by several replies...  "I'm sorry,"  "So sorry,"  was the recurring theme.

REALLY?

Go back and read her post.  She did not get the job and she knows God has a better one in mind for her.  YES!  AWESOME!  Congratulations!  Hallelujah!  Praise Him, Praise Him!  GREAT!  WONDERFUL!

How can we be disappointed that God has something better?  How can we be sorry that He wants her to have the right job?  How can we be so sorry that He desires to give her the best?  How can we be sorry that He "is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think?"  (Ephesians 3:20)  How can we question His sovereign ability to provide her needs even before we ask? (Matthew 6:28)

Yes, we can be sensitive to the need for a job but I hope our perspective is a heavenly one so that we can recognize His handiwork in guiding and leading her and her family to the blessing He intends.  Let's not get distracted by the needs and stay focused on the Provider.  What about you?  Did you focus on the first part of her post or the latter part of her post?  Is your perspective of the worldly or the Godly?

(Father God, help me to have the proper perspective in all things.  I thank you Lord for the way you provide for our needs.  In the name of Jesus, I pray that you will open the door to the right job for this friend.  Give her a job that honors you and I thank you for that job.  Amen.)

Mundane and Routine

I really hate mundane tasks. I hate those overly repetitive things that require not thought to completing. They bore me. They offer no challenge to living.

Yet, they must be done. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning out the gutter - all things that are routine and boring but have to be done or the results are, well, horrible.

But, routine can help us accomplish many things. I'm missing a bit of routine in my life. Since school is out, I don't have anything necessary for scheduling. Therefore, my day is random and unpredictable. I prefer the random and predictable to happen within a routine. Yes, I don't always get what I want and I see an opportunity to exercise some self-control. So, here goes...

(Father God, I need your help today and always. I know that you are an orderly God and not a god of chaos. You know what is good for me. I ask now that you help me establish a routine that accomplishes your good purpose. Thank you for the assistance you give freely and abundantly. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

What comes next? Random thoughts...

We are preparing for chemotherapy around here. My brother is mad at me because I don't call exactly when he wants. I'm beginning to really struggle with maintaining my own household while caring for Mom. And, I haven't even begun the difficult part of caring for mom yet.

I hate cancer. My heart breaks when I see Mom. She's not that old. She shouldn't look like my great-grandmother. As a child I remember seeing great grandma and thinking that she was so old. I couldn't understand how she was still alive. Now, mom reminds me of that and I just hate it.

I thank God that things have worked out for her treatment. I know that she would not have been able to go through this back home. God really has something going on here, I just don't know what. I'm not scared of losing mom. I know what the future holds and I know that God holds her. That's enough.

I will admit though that I don't know that I have the strength to get through all this. My heart desires a physical presence to lean on through this. I admit that I envy others in relationships where when they are caught up in a sad moment, they turn to their spouse and rest there. I desire that.

(Lord, I turn these desires over to you. Please carry them for me. Thank you. In Jesus name, amen.)