Another Cancer Adventure

Well, Mom has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. We are going today to schedule the surgery required. Mom has been a tower of strength even though she's now only about 5' 4". She has been such a sweet example through all this.

I haven't been such an example. I've been whiny and stressed. My flesh thinks this isn't fair. Why does she have to do this again? Why? Why? Why the changes to her way of life? I have many questions and can't see the answer right now. I rely on the knowledge that God has the answers.

(Father God, thank you for your care. Thank you for the answers that I can't see. You know and that's all I need to know. Please heal according to Your grace and mercy. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Mom and Cancer - Update

One of the first things that I needed to update is how my mom is doing with her cancer. Praise God, she is doing wonderfully well. She has completed all her chemotherapy. She has completed all the radiation. She has had her first follow-up visits and the doctors are pleased with her progress. A scope has been done on her nasopharynx and it looks clean with only minimal scarring.

However, she is having difficulty eating. The radiation basically destroyed all her taste buds and nothing has much flavor so she doesn't enjoy eating.

She has returned home and is no longer living with me. We are thankful but still we miss her.

For background information visit these blog entries:

• Rejoicing (12/16/08)
• What comes next? Random Thoughts... (12/9/08)
• Cancer = Caretaker (12/2/08)

(Father God, thank you for working in Mom's cancer situation. Thank you for placing everything just where you did and just when you did in order to ease the stress. Thank you for giving the doctors the knowledge to attack the cancer cells. Thank you for healing that comes only from you. Now, Father, I ask that you touch mom's taste and heal there as well. Encourage her to taste You through Your Word daily. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Rejoicing

Mom has been doing great through the tests and today's treatment. The chemo went great today and now we will watch closely the next couple of days to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

God is so gracious to allow this time and to move Mom through each step with His strength. I am learning so much about the nature of God through this. He is so in control.

(Lord, God, I praise you for all that you do. Thank you for carrying Mom as she faces this challenge. I see your strenght even in her weakness. You are an awesome God. Thank you. In Jesus' name, amen.)

What comes next? Random thoughts...

We are preparing for chemotherapy around here. My brother is mad at me because I don't call exactly when he wants. I'm beginning to really struggle with maintaining my own household while caring for Mom. And, I haven't even begun the difficult part of caring for mom yet.

I hate cancer. My heart breaks when I see Mom. She's not that old. She shouldn't look like my great-grandmother. As a child I remember seeing great grandma and thinking that she was so old. I couldn't understand how she was still alive. Now, mom reminds me of that and I just hate it.

I thank God that things have worked out for her treatment. I know that she would not have been able to go through this back home. God really has something going on here, I just don't know what. I'm not scared of losing mom. I know what the future holds and I know that God holds her. That's enough.

I will admit though that I don't know that I have the strength to get through all this. My heart desires a physical presence to lean on through this. I admit that I envy others in relationships where when they are caught up in a sad moment, they turn to their spouse and rest there. I desire that.

(Lord, I turn these desires over to you. Please carry them for me. Thank you. In Jesus name, amen.)

Cancer = Caretaker

Well, it's official. My mother has cancer. And God is calling me to be her care giver while she undergoes treatment. Please pray for me. I must rely totally on God for this ability as it is not something that comes to me naturally.

Every cancer is different. Every treatment is different. While there may be some similiarities in the way the cancer presents and is treated, ultimately each one is unique. When dealing with cancer and cancer treatment, the way it's approached is as unique as the situations.

The adjustment is somewhat of a shock. Yet, I don't think there is anything different I can do. Mom is living with me for awhile. God knows if it's going to be for a long period or no. There's so much that I want to do but I don't want to overdo. I pray that God gives me the strength to do as He desires through all this. He has a reason. I'll listen to hear what He says.

(Lord, I pray that you will wrap your love around my mother and keep her close to your heart. Thank you for this woman that has cared for me, taught me, disciplined me, and listened to me. I pray that you will keep my perspective on you through it all. My heart cries for relief for Mom, yet I seek your will. In Jesus' name, amen.)