Mary Kept

"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."  Luke 2:19.

After the angels announced the birth of Peace on earth and the shepards came to see the Saviour, it was told far and wide about this event.  These shepards just had to tell everyone about Jesus.  It was an exciting time for them.  But, Mary didn't tell.

This is the way I feel right now.  God had blessed me in a way that I wasn't expecting.  And, I'm keeping so much of it and pondering it in my heart.  I know this is an exciting time that others want to be a part of.  Yet, I want to savor this time with God.  Thanking Him for His provision. Praising Him for His faithfulness even when I waivered.  Rejoicing in His timing and handiwork. Thanking Him for the exercise of waiting.  Letting His grace and mercy fill every fiber of my being and soul.

(Father God, thank You for loving me beyond measure.  I thank You for the gift of salvation and the joy of it.  Forgive me when I lose sight of You.  Thank You for the reminders of how You work in my life even when I'm not looking.  Thank You for this unexpected place.  I am overwhelmed at the demonstrated love.  Oh Father, place Your protection around it.  Show Your grace, honor and glory through it.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Chasing Dreams and Passions

How do I find a dream today?  How do I locate my passion?  Oooh!  Let's ask God.  Sounds so simple to ask.  What comes after asking is the difficult part for me.  The waiting.  Waiting on God to answer the way I want Him to.  Yeah, I'm being a spoiled child.  I want the answer the way I want it.

Yet, God calls me to wait for His answer.  He calls me to listen for His plans.  He gently asks that I seek what He desires for me.  As a flawed, human parent I sometimes think that God might actually answer the way I would.  Thankfully, He reminds me that He is the great I AM. 

I know that God is not limited by human thinking or desires.  I know that He knows the big picture and I know that I am only a little puzzle piece.  Sometimes, I want more.  Most times, I want more.  Today, I want Him.  That is all, that is enough, that is the best.

(Father God, I will never cease to be amazed at You.  I am giddy with anticipation of what it will be like to be in Your physical presence, to be totally engaged with You.  Oh, Father, how incredible and terrible at the same time.  I want a little bit of that today.  I want to be aware of Your goodness and Your justice.  Your goodness blesses me.  Your justice keeps me on the path You set.  Your justice keeps me mindful of just what sin does in our relationship.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Just another new year?

I don't make new year resolutions. What is the point? I am not guaranteed tomorrow. I have today with God, my family and friends. I should make the most of today.

God doesn't want me to worry about tomorrow or if I'll loose 60 pounds this year or if Mom's chemo will destroy the cancer in her body over the next 3 months. He wants me to focus on Him today. Not next week but right now even this very moment.

Sometimes, this is extremely difficult for me. I want what I want and I want it now. I have become ingrained in this "fast" food society of America. I sometimes forget that delayed satisfaction is most often much better than anything that "satisfies" my flesh instantly.

Having said that I also wonder what a new year will bring. Will it bring the return of my Lord? Will it bring a husband? Will it bring a new place to live? Will it bring the close of any personal relationships? Will it bring the close of mom's earthly life? Will it bring a drivers license for my daughter? What will this 2009 look like?

(Father God, I am so thankful that You care for me. You are the holy and true God. You alone are mighty and wonderfully just. Forgive me where I fall so short of Your Perfectness. Thank You for making a way for me to partake in Your Perfectness through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, my Saviour. Keep me focused on You each day so that I may know You and love You. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Praying to God

While working on the previous post, I began to wonder what is the proper way to close a prayer. What is the proper punctuation? How do I pray in Jesus name?

I did a quick search on the Internet and pulled myself to the example provided by God through His Holy Word for instructions. It really is pretty simple. Prayer is directed to God the Father in the name of God the Son (Jesus) delivered by the groaning of God the Holy Spirit.

"Father God, I am clay in your hands, help me to stay that way through all life's demands cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me." (Lose My Soul, Toby Mac) This is the beginning of my current favorite song. It starts the prayer properly and is an awesome example . While the song does not directly follow the example provided in Matthew 6 and Luke 11, it is none the less a heartfelt prayer. And while the words were not originated with me, they are also my heartfelt prayer.

I've heard so many times that the words of the prayer are not what are important but that God hears the cry of the heart. I believe this to be true. Prayers can be offered in many ways and it is the position of the heart and the words of the heart that God hears and acknowledges. When my heart cries out to Father God, He hears. God is so great and awesome. I'm excited as I learn more about Him.

(Father God, I am clay in Your hands. I know that You fashion me to be what You desire. I also understand that while I am clay, I have a free will - unlike earthly clay. I can make decisions that cause Your perfect plan to be marred. Yet, You quickly and wonderfully fix, smooth, rework, and perfect the clay. You don't remove the consequences of my bad decisions You use them to Your glory. I stand amazed at all times at how You can continually do that without losing it. Thank You Father God for loving me. In the name of Jesus, Amen.)

Desires of the Heart

I've been pondering the desires of the heart a lot during the last few weeks. Why does God create desires in our hearts? How does He change those desires? How does He fan those desires? How do I know the desire is one that He placed there while He was shaping me before I was born? I know the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. But as I've blogged before, God gives us a new heart when we trust him. So, now my heart, the innermost part of me, the part that is truly me - wonders what is the desire from God and what is my own flesh being influenced by the media and society? I seek to know the very threads that God used to weave me together.

I want to know the desire and passion that He placed in me for my job, for my family, for my ministry. I'm am steadily tapping into that fundamental desire to know Him. Intimately. Deeply. Personally. Without fear. As I get to know Him, I want to know my purpose for Him.

(Father God, thank You for all that You do. I know You see the confusion and desires of my heart. I know that You have a plan to prosper me and that You direct my paths. Yet, Father, I feel so alone at times. Please help me to hear what You have for me. In the name of Jesus, Amen.)

CHRISTmas!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this day that our nation has set aside to celebrate as the day You were born in flesh. I pray that every person that hears the phrase Merry Christmas knows that it really is about You.

I praise You for what you did for me. This gift of salvation so freely offered but at such a great price to you. Thank you.

I love you, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Rejoicing

Mom has been doing great through the tests and today's treatment. The chemo went great today and now we will watch closely the next couple of days to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

God is so gracious to allow this time and to move Mom through each step with His strength. I am learning so much about the nature of God through this. He is so in control.

(Lord, God, I praise you for all that you do. Thank you for carrying Mom as she faces this challenge. I see your strenght even in her weakness. You are an awesome God. Thank you. In Jesus' name, amen.)