Fallen in Love

I've fallen in love.  No, I was not planning on falling in love.  After being a single parent for 7 years, adding another person to the mix was just too complicated.  The logistics of blending a family has not and does not appeal to me.  The practical things that have to be addressed require way too much work on my part.  Yet, God is using this.

When in love, it's easy to want to spend time with the object of your affection.  I constantly think of and about this new person in my life.  I can't wait to see him at the end of a work day.  I look forward to the day we can wake up together.  I enjoy what ever the thing is that we do together.  I dislike and am impatient when we are apart.  

But then today, I got to wondering.  Do I seek Jesus as the object of my affection?  Is my relationship with God on the same level as (or higher than) the relationship with this other person? What can I learn about my relationship with God because of this relationship with him?   If this relationship is the answer to my prayer for a relationship that honors God, then I better be learning something from it.  

So, I'm learning that I don't worry about the logistics of my relationship with God.  I'm going to let it fill my senses the way a new romantic relationship does.  I am allowing God to create in me the desire to spend time with Him.  I'm allowing Him to distract me from the day to day activities for thoughts of joy and peace.  When I do, a loving smile settles on my face.  God is faithful.  He loves you  and I with a love beyond what any human does or can.  He has our best interest in mind even when He chastises us.  Isn't that amazing and desirable?

(Father God, thank you for the perfect relationship that You - and You alone - provide.  Thank you also for the human relationships that show me about Your love in a way that I can grasp and understand.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Desires of the Heart

I've been pondering the desires of the heart a lot during the last few weeks. Why does God create desires in our hearts? How does He change those desires? How does He fan those desires? How do I know the desire is one that He placed there while He was shaping me before I was born? I know the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. But as I've blogged before, God gives us a new heart when we trust him. So, now my heart, the innermost part of me, the part that is truly me - wonders what is the desire from God and what is my own flesh being influenced by the media and society? I seek to know the very threads that God used to weave me together.

I want to know the desire and passion that He placed in me for my job, for my family, for my ministry. I'm am steadily tapping into that fundamental desire to know Him. Intimately. Deeply. Personally. Without fear. As I get to know Him, I want to know my purpose for Him.

(Father God, thank You for all that You do. I know You see the confusion and desires of my heart. I know that You have a plan to prosper me and that You direct my paths. Yet, Father, I feel so alone at times. Please help me to hear what You have for me. In the name of Jesus, Amen.)