The Real Me (Part Two - My BIRTHDAY!)

I am a child of the King.  I have been adopted by the Most High. I am loved. I am blessed.   I am protected.  I am forgiven.  I have peace.  I have joy.  I have patience.  I have faith.  I have self-control.  I think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely.  I dwell in the shadow of His wings.  I know mercy.  I know grace.  (Read Gal 5:22, Phil 4:8, Eph 2:8-9, and the Psalms.)

This is the REAL me. My spiritual birthday came 10 years and 5 months after my physical one.  Most of my life has been a battle when the flesh would win. I wasn't properly equipped for war.  But one day nearly a decade ago, that started to change.  I began to see more victories.  I began to plug into the Power.  I dumped my fleshly weaponry and started using God's.  I truly rested in His sovereign care and I've been there ever since.

Oh, I still fight battles.  I still have much to learn about leaning on God.  But He is victorious.

(Father God, thank you for the day I accepted Christ as my Saviour.  Thank you for the day that I rested fully in you.  Thank you for providing your Spirit so freely.  Keep this part of me ever in front of the other part of me.  I look forward to the day you call us to your side either by death or by trumpet.  Make straight my paths.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.)

The Real Me (Part One - It's My Birthday!)

I have lied.  I have stolen.  I have yearned for things so earnestly that it consumed my every thought.  I have profaned the sabbath.  I have failed to obey and honor my parents both as a child and an adult.  I have accused my neighbor of untrue things.  I have used the name of God with irreverence and as profanity.  I have served myself as superior and sought other gods before Him.  I have committed adultery.  Out of ten simple rules, I have broken all but one at some point or another.  (Read Exodus 20: 1-17)

This is the fleshly me.  This is the one that was physically born today multiple decades ago.  (I'll spare you the exact details of how long ago it was.)  I know my heart is deceitful.  I know it will lie to me.  I know.  I know it leads to all those things listed above. It even tries to convince me that I'm a good person, that I don't need anything.

However, there's another part of me that knows there is a Creator.  There is Someone who loves me and desires to be with me.  There is Someone who cares when I do things that harm me.  There is Someone who wants only the best for me and He knows what the best is because He designed me.  We all know this.

(Father God, I know you are here.  I pray you will lead according to your purpose and will.  Thank you.  In Jesus Name I pray, amen.)

Reflections

On this final day of 2010, I've not felt compelled to think back over the year.  I've not wanted to dwell on the ups an downs.  Instead I sit here doing my normal thing.  I'm here in the present.  I read the blogs on my list and wish that more were updated today.  I smile at the cat curled comfortably next to my husband's Bible on the couch.  I am again thankful to be in this place at this time.

I consider my friend, Ashley, and am grateful for her parents and their dedication to choose life.  Choosing life is a reflection of God.  Awesome.  I consider another family waiting and working patiently for their Ukrainian child.  Their desire to care for an orphan is a reflection of God.  Awesome.  My heart grows heavy when I consider my friend, Jan.  Cancer has invaded her life aggressively.  Yet, she has chosen to live with her daughter and redeem this time to the best that she can.  What a lesson for me to learn!  Sounds a bit like another reflection of God, doesn't it?  My son is defending his faith against an atheist.  Their conversation challenges me to grow more intimate with my LORD.  It requires me to see the reflection of God in His Word.

I know I can't change the past.  It has happened.  I will be exposed to the consequences of it.  And, I can fully trust God for all I need in the present.  I am so thankful to be surrounded by reflections and remembrances and realities of my God.  Awesome!

(Father God, thank you for your great and mighty presence in my life.  Thank you that you surround me with reflections of yourself in so many places.   What a joy!  Father, I pray that as this calendar year closes you will be a welcome, comforting, sustaining presence to Ashley, Angela, Jan, and us.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Straddling a Fence

Are you on the fence?  Are you lukewarm?  Do you try to stand in the place of neutrality?  Do you find yourself saying, "I'm not real sure how I feel about that.  I don't know if I'm for or against it?"

God tells us in plain language that we are either for Him or against Him.  We either believe in Him or we don't (John 3:18).  He also tells us how He feels about lukewarm Christians sitting on a fence (Revelation 3:16).

Ultimately, it does not really matter if you are for or against something (abortion, lying, adultery, etc.).  Your job is to find out where God stands on the issue.  If God hates divorce and you love God, you hate divorce.  My own personal experience is filled with things that God hates.  It makes me want to cry.  But God is faithful to forgive.  (Thank You, Lord God.)  He is faithful to use those that love Him for His purpose.  He is faithful to heal.  He is wonderful.  He is the everlasting God.  Daily we are called to take up our cross, bring our flesh under control, love the things that God loves and hate the sin that God hates.  We are not to be bench warmers on the fence.  If God hates divorce, do everything you can to keep it from your marriage.  If you must divorce, remember that God loves you so much that He gave His only Son that You might have everlasting life.  Seek God's forgiveness.  Then, do everything you can to keep divorce away from this point forward.  But, don't waver in the middle.  That is just sickening.  Be hot or cold about homosexuality, idolatry, covetousness, etc.  Just don't ride the fence.

(Father God, help me to always recognize and stand on your side.  And, when I fail, Father, please forgive me.  Thank you for making your position clear through your Word.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

My Testimony

Does your family know the important things you want them to know? If you died today, what do you want your husband to remember? What do you want your son or daughter to hold dear through the remainder of their life? What do you want your extended family to hear you say one last time? What do you want your friends to know?

Do they know what your favorite song is and why it is your favorite? Do they know your favorite food and what makes it so yummy to you? Do they know about your relationship with Jesus? Do you have a relationship with Jesus?

The most important thing you can share today or leave behind is your testimony - the legacy of your life.

(Father God, help me to tell those around me that I love them daily. Help me to share Your love, salvation, and hope with everyone I meet. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)

Following a Suffering Servant

(This entry follows on my previous blog entry about God and suffering.) I talked about how those that we are intimately involved with are the ones that can cause the greatest amount of suffering and loss. The parent-child relationship, the spousal relationship, the child-parent relationship - these all can be devastating but these same relationships are the ones that bring us the greatest joy!

The intimacy of a spousal relationship (husband/man and wife/woman only within the bonds of marriage) is incredibly fulfilling physically and emotionally. The intimacy of bearing a child is also a fulfilling endeavor that can lead to joy as your child takes his first steps, graduates from high school, marries her sweetheart, or confidently takes a new job. The intimacy of caring for an aging parent can provide insights into knowing the parent beyond just that and into knowing the parent as a person.

So what relationship does Jesus have with us? Creator to creation. The One who created us in intimately involved in His creation. That's how He came to be a Suffering Servant. And, that's why it is in God's character to suffer. He put so much care and joy and love into creating us that when we disobey and dishonor Him he suffers. It is because He cares so much. Think about it. If you don't care about the school bully, do you suffer because of him? No. Suffering only comes when care is present. It happens when you want the best for those around you and they don't seem to want it for themselves.

Yes, God wants what is best for us and we are disobedient slugs. We think we know better that the One that has infinite wisdom and knowledge. We cause our Creator AND ourselves to suffer. Then, when we get back on the right track, we bring our Creator AND ourselves great joy. Yes, this is where I want to be - on the joy side.

(Father God, please forgive me for causing you to suffer. Thank you for the immense joy when I am obedient. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)

Suffering Servant

How could God be a suffering servant? I mean, isn't God perfect? What could cause Him pain, distress, injury, loss, a penalty, or death? Why would He patiently or willingly allow or permit it?

I don't like suffering. I don't understand how God allows and participates in suffering. Yet, He has told me why.

Mark 1:41 - "And Jesus, moved with compassion..." Mark 3:5 - "...being grieved for the hardness of their hearts..."

God is moved with compassion and it grieves Him when our hearts are hard against our fellow humans. So, how does that explain suffering? Suffering comes from us. Oh, yes, it does. I love my children. Yet, as a parent, my deepest pain and distress comes from those children. When they don't recognize how I care for them or when they are on a destructive path, it causes me pain. I love my parents. Yet, a deep loss that I have felt came when my father died. I feel pain as I watch my mother go through cancer treatments. I love the father of my children. Yet, divorce has caused intense pain there. I love my husband. Yet, I know that he holds my heart and could cause devastation. Unfortunately, I have also caused others pain. Unfeeling words spoken without thought, rash judgement made without knowing all the details, taking for granted care and consideration provided for me - all this results in suffering.

How is it that Jesus could suffer? His love for us is so great that when we step outside what is good for us and harden our hearts to Him, it grieves Him. He suffers. We suffer. Ouch.

None the less, Jesus does what is right. He is the truth. If you read the first part of Mark 3, it tells of Jesus healing even though He had been set up by the hard hearts of men. He wanted men to desire the healing of the injured one. But they didn't. They only wanted to "catch" him violating one of their own laws. Take note, Jesus didn't violate His law.

Sadly, suffering will remain as long as we are disobedient.

(Father God, forgive me for causing you pain. Thank you for the forgiveness you freely and quickly offer. Help me to be aware of when I am causing the suffering of others so that I may repent of that. Thank you for spending time talking with me and teaching me. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)