From the Archives: Need Marriage?

December 29, 2008

Genesis 2:18 - God said it is not good that the man should be alone.

Genesis 2:22 - God brought her unto the man.

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honorable in all.

After many years God has revealed to me the part that I played in destroying my first marriage. It rests in need. When my first child was an infant, I told my husband that I did not need him. I told him that I could raise the baby without his help. I wanted - but didn't need - my husband to be a part of my life and the raising of the baby. I never let go of the posture of independence through 10 years of marriage.

This week I learned that undermines all that God uses to make a man. I also learned that I continue to not need a husband. Yet, God is moving my heart.

Let's apply this to my own relationship with God. I know I NEED Him. I cannot obtain salvation without Him. I cannot pay the penalty of my own sins. I cannot bridge the gap between God and myself on my own righteousness. I don't have any.

Alcohol and Spirit

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Ephesians 5:18

Many, many moons ago, I regularly partook in intoxicating beverages. When I drank I was making a specific choice to do activities outside my "normal" characteristics. I chose to make decisions I could then blame on the alcohol. Was I an alcoholic? Did I suffer from alcoholism? Well, in order to answer those questions I had to determine how alcoholism is defined. Here's what I found at dictionary.reference.com...

• habitual intoxication; prolonged and excessive intake of alcoholic drinks leading to a breakdown in health and an addiction to alcohol such that abrupt deprivation leads to severe withdrawal symptoms
• an intense persistent desire to drink alcoholic beverages to excess
• a chronic disorder characterized by dependence on alcohol, repeated excessive use of alcoholic beverages, the development of withdrawal symptoms on reducing or ceasing intake, morbidity that may include cirrhosis of the liver, and decreased ability to function socially and vocationally.

Did I need a drink when I got up? No. Did I need a drink just to make it through the day? No. Did I need a drink every day? No. Did I suffer withdrawal symptoms after stopping the intake? Mildly and only occasionally. When I examine my use in black and white it is crystal clear. I used alcohol to act like a fool, a choice I consciously made.

Augh, forgive me! I have no words to effectively express the cry of my heart at this depth of realization here.

Today, this confession carries great grief and intense sorrow. I am a wretched sinner saved only by the grace and mercy of the eternal I AM. God is so amazing. (I can't say that enough.) He loved me even when I chose to act like a fool. Christ paid for that foolishness so that it would not be beaten out of me. It was an exacting price far beyond my ability to pay. Yet, He has forgiven me. Totally. Completely.

My grief and sorrow over the choice help keep me from returning to it. However, the Spirit is the antidote. As long as I keep the Spirit fed with fervent prayer and consistent scripture intake so that my relationship with Jesus flourishes, the effects of the poison are countered.

Lord God Almighty, Gracious, Merciful, thank you for the forgiveness that You offer and for the faith to accept it. In my finite mind, I can only minimally grasp the magnitude of Your love and it overwhelms me. Hallelujah! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Bridges and Babies

My mind has been swirling with the difference God makes in a life. I hear and know of wonderful families that are so thankful for the miracle child they have. Then, this week carries the news that a father has thrown his 4 children off a bridge to their deaths. The gulf between depravity and love has become a little more clear for me.

Gwyneth Rose has been honored with parents - Nathan and Tricia - that cherish her immensely, even in times of trouble. Their faith is obvious and strong. At 24 weeks gestation, she made an early entry into this world. She is beautiful. The details of her tiny body declare boldly of a Creator God who put a lot of thought into His creation. I praise Him for His wonderful works. Thank you, Nathan and Tricia, for being willing to share your story. I've only been reading a few days but it has truly blessed me.

Ashley Kate is a transplant survivor. Her parents cherish her all the time, even when her ornery streak shows. Their faith is obvious and strong. I've kept up with Ashley's story from the very beginning. The miracles that God has worked in her life and through her life are numerous. He even used her to open my heart.

Yet, my heart is broken each time I see the news reports on the 4 children thrown from the Dauphin Island Bridge by a father mad at the children's mother. I don't even have the words to express how heart wrenching this report is to me. How can a person be so selfish? What filled his life that would allow those thoughts to take over? And then put action to those thoughts? I just don't understand.

Do you see the difference? Parents that value life because they know God gave that life are such a contrast to a parent that has no regard for life.

(Dear God, forgive our nation, forgive our sins. Please Lord. Forgive us for letting the value You placed on lives go so far away. Thank you Lord.)

New Year, New Post

Surprise, I'm posting a new entry.

I've been land locked for some time. I am now hoping to get back to my daily swim in the blogging sea on a regular basis. I've refreshed my mind with the original intent of this blog and am looking to God for what comes next.

Psalm 4:2, 8

• O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will you love vanity and seek after leasing? Selah.
• I will both lay me down in peace and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

My mind races with questions. The first word that jumped out at me was "leasing". Did it mean the same thing at the time it was translated as it does now? Leasing a house, leasing a car... these are the things that come to mind in my little world today. Would that concept apply here? And, what word was it translated from? Might it have other meanings? Boy, I need to get some research tools.

God is talking here and He's talking to me because I'm one of those humans - those "sons of men" even though I'm a daughter. How long will I love vanity? Wait, what does vanity really mean in biblical terms? Let's go searching... The best online tool I've ever encountered is located at http://www.biblegateway.com/. There's a dictionary tool at http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/dictionaries. Searching Easton's dictionary for vanity doesn't provide a definiton. But, searching for leasing provides that it's an old English word meaning lies or lying. Hmmm... In the mean time, I found a biblical definition of vanity - "emptiness". Looking over the entry from http://blueletterbible.org/ which references the International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, I see that "breath of air, vapor" would also be an appropriate definition.

Now that I'm armed with those definitions, let's see what God is asking me today...

• O human, how long will you pervert my reputation with sin? how long will you prefer emptiness and seek after lies?

The question cuts to my soul and echos in my mind. What about yours? How can I go forward? I'll start with confession of my daily transgressions in conversation with God even now. And reading on, I find solace in knowing that the Lord is the only one that provides true safety, peace and sleep no matter the circumstances. Thank you, LORD.

Good evening (oops, morning) to you all.