Recently our local news did a story on "Facebook Destroys Relationships." It was all about how spouses were cheating using Facebook. Every time I heard the promo for the story, I just wanted to scream. In fact, I did find myself talking to the TV every single time.
Facebook doesn't destroy relationships. People do. People wound, maim, attack, pursue, frustrate, and kill relationships. It's the people involved in the relationship that destroy it. We were doing it without Facebook for many years. I'm pretty sure we will keep on doing it even if Facebook goes away.
Proverbs 23:7 tell us, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, he says to you; but his heart is not with you." Relationships are destroyed by a heart that thinks it can find something better somewhere else. Relationships are destroyed by hearts that are unwilling to forgive. Relationships are destroyed by hearts that are bitter and critical. Relationships are destroyed by hearts that are not with the one they've married. Relationships are destroyed by a heart that has placed higher importance on something or someone else.
If there are 95 things that you love about your spouse and 5 things that bug you, you've got a wonderful thing. Don't dwell on those 5 things, think on those things that are lovely, pure, right, just, honest, good. When your heart and mind are thinking on the good things, the bad things fade into the background where they belong. That does NOT mean that criminal offenses should be overlooked. That means it's not important if she leaves the cap off the toothpaste. It means that it's not important if he leaves his socks in the living room. Don't quibble over the small stuff.
(Father God, help us to place you first in our lives so that other things may also be placed in the right order. Thank you for the relationships you give us. Help us to value and treasure those relationships. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Forgiveness, Part Five
The key to forgiveness is knowing the one, true God and accepting Him as your personal Lord and Saviour.
I know a good person can forgive others. I know that a person striving for Nirvana can forgive others. But the complete knowledge of forgiveness can only come through the one that has complete knowledge of forgiveness because He is the author and finisher of it. Forgiveness, like faith, originates with God. It also finishes with God. God completes forgiveness. I can forgive you. You can forgive me. And that exchange of forgiveness is completed because God is in the beginning, middle, and end of it. The amazing part is that even if you don't believe in God as I do, it doesn't change Him.
I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was a child. As I grew, I tried Him. I questioned Him. I checked out other ideas of god. I tried it without Him. I tried ignoring Him. I tried to fashion Him into something I liked. Ultimately, I realized He does exist as defined by the Holy Scripture of the Jews and the Christians. Scripture is His autobiography. I don't get to take the parts I like and leave the parts I don't. He is love. He is just. He is truth. He is.
If you don't know Him, it's easy to find Him. Many teach that you must clean yourself up or do specific things to be accepted of God. There is nothing you can do to make yourself perfect for God. You will always fall short. When you recognize that, salvation is a step away. When you reach the point that you KNOW you can't do it yourself, call out to Jesus. One short simple prayer of belief is all it takes.
(Father God, Thank you for salvation. I could post this prayer a million times on this blog and it would not be enough. I am so amazed by your love for us. I continue to learn more about you and how deep your care and love is. Each new thing I learn makes my salvation that much more precious. Thank you, thank you. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)
I know a good person can forgive others. I know that a person striving for Nirvana can forgive others. But the complete knowledge of forgiveness can only come through the one that has complete knowledge of forgiveness because He is the author and finisher of it. Forgiveness, like faith, originates with God. It also finishes with God. God completes forgiveness. I can forgive you. You can forgive me. And that exchange of forgiveness is completed because God is in the beginning, middle, and end of it. The amazing part is that even if you don't believe in God as I do, it doesn't change Him.
I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was a child. As I grew, I tried Him. I questioned Him. I checked out other ideas of god. I tried it without Him. I tried ignoring Him. I tried to fashion Him into something I liked. Ultimately, I realized He does exist as defined by the Holy Scripture of the Jews and the Christians. Scripture is His autobiography. I don't get to take the parts I like and leave the parts I don't. He is love. He is just. He is truth. He is.
If you don't know Him, it's easy to find Him. Many teach that you must clean yourself up or do specific things to be accepted of God. There is nothing you can do to make yourself perfect for God. You will always fall short. When you recognize that, salvation is a step away. When you reach the point that you KNOW you can't do it yourself, call out to Jesus. One short simple prayer of belief is all it takes.
Father God, I can't do this myself. You sent Jesus to do what I could not. Please forgive me for trying to do it myself? I accept what Jesus has done for me and I turn to you. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.Finding salvation is a simple thing. Living it out is a day by day, moment by moment adventure. If you've just found Jesus, post a comment to let me know. (Comments are moderated so others won't see it unless you want them to.) I want to encourage you and help you in this adventure.
(Father God, Thank you for salvation. I could post this prayer a million times on this blog and it would not be enough. I am so amazed by your love for us. I continue to learn more about you and how deep your care and love is. Each new thing I learn makes my salvation that much more precious. Thank you, thank you. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Forgiveness, Part Four
Continuing forgiveness... I want to live a life of continual forgiveness. Okay, I couldn't resist the play on words there. After all, we are on part four of this series.
Still, I do desire to honor God by forgiving others. I don't have any reason to hold a grudge. I don't have a reason to keep a score card. I did this for him. He hasn't returned an equitable favor. NOPE. That is not how I want to live. She did that to me. She has a lot of making up for it. NOPE. That is not how I want to live.
I want each day to be filled with forgiveness. If someone offends me I want to forgive immediately. I don't want to have to think about it. I want it to be so natural and normal. And, when I offend another, I want to seek forgiveness just as quickly.
I really want to seek quick forgiveness when I've offended my Saviour and God. I want to be so disgusted by sin that when I do - and I will - I immediately recognize it, turn from it, and ask forgiveness for it. I've heard that counterfeit experts do not study the fake money, they study the real stuff. They know the real thing so well that they can immediately spot a fake. That's how I want to be. I want to spend my time thinking on things that are right, pure, just, lovely, honest, of good report, friendly, etc. That way when lies, gossip, and discontent work their way into my thoughts, I can recognize them and remove them. If I take care of the issue at the root (in my mind), it doesn't show evidence on the tree (in actions and speech).
Yes, continuing forgiveness...
(Father God, I am so grateful for your continuing forgiveness. Each day I seek to cleanse my feet from the dust of the day and you are faithful to forgive. Thank you. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)
Still, I do desire to honor God by forgiving others. I don't have any reason to hold a grudge. I don't have a reason to keep a score card. I did this for him. He hasn't returned an equitable favor. NOPE. That is not how I want to live. She did that to me. She has a lot of making up for it. NOPE. That is not how I want to live.
I want each day to be filled with forgiveness. If someone offends me I want to forgive immediately. I don't want to have to think about it. I want it to be so natural and normal. And, when I offend another, I want to seek forgiveness just as quickly.
I really want to seek quick forgiveness when I've offended my Saviour and God. I want to be so disgusted by sin that when I do - and I will - I immediately recognize it, turn from it, and ask forgiveness for it. I've heard that counterfeit experts do not study the fake money, they study the real stuff. They know the real thing so well that they can immediately spot a fake. That's how I want to be. I want to spend my time thinking on things that are right, pure, just, lovely, honest, of good report, friendly, etc. That way when lies, gossip, and discontent work their way into my thoughts, I can recognize them and remove them. If I take care of the issue at the root (in my mind), it doesn't show evidence on the tree (in actions and speech).
Yes, continuing forgiveness...
(Father God, I am so grateful for your continuing forgiveness. Each day I seek to cleanse my feet from the dust of the day and you are faithful to forgive. Thank you. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Forgiveness, Part Three
Continuing on from yesterday's thoughts, I've come to realize that most offenses happen because I'm too wrapped up in myself and my problems. That does not give me a reason to offend. It only helps me identify an area that I can improve. I'm pretty sure that I will continue to do and say things that will be taken as offenses but I refuse to live in bondage to guilt or bitterness. I do not have the energy or the time to carry around a scorecard of all that someone else has done to me. I don't want to remember all the cruddy things I've done to others, intentionally or not.
Having said that, I want to make it clear that some things still have consequences. Most often those consequences follow us for many years or even the rest of our lives. The choices I made as a young woman in the Navy have changed the rest of my life. I cannot go back and undo those actions. This is why I don't understand "forgive and forget". A victim of sexual abuse may be able to forgive but the chances are that forgetting will be impossible. A family that lost a son or daughter to a drunk driver may be able to forgive but forgetting is not possible.
When God tells us that He forgives our sin and removes it as far as the east is from the west, He no longer holds us responsible for that sin. If our sin is such that it resulted in a pregnancy, disease, or possible injury - the consequences of that will be a constant reminder. It becomes impossible to forget. The great news is that we aren't in bondage to it any more. Oh, what joy! This would also apply to sin committed by another that affects us. Christ alone is the one that can give us freedom from the slavery of sin - ours and others.
I will forever be affected by the crime that my former spouse committed. My children will forever be affected by it. However, we don't have to be controlled by it. God in his great mercy protected us through multiple years of single parenthood. God in his excellent mercy provided a new spouse - a love beyond my wildest dreams. And I hold this new relationship and love in a special place. I will fight to protect it. But, that's a story for another day.
(Father God, I am so blessed by the forgiveness that you have. Thank you for sending your only begotten Son that I might know the depth of that forgiveness. Thank you for His sacrifice on calvary so that I might know the height of that forgiveness. Thank you for raising him to life again so that I might know the width of that forgiveness. Praise your Holy Name for the forgiveness which was, which is, and which is to come. Hallelujah! In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.)
Having said that, I want to make it clear that some things still have consequences. Most often those consequences follow us for many years or even the rest of our lives. The choices I made as a young woman in the Navy have changed the rest of my life. I cannot go back and undo those actions. This is why I don't understand "forgive and forget". A victim of sexual abuse may be able to forgive but the chances are that forgetting will be impossible. A family that lost a son or daughter to a drunk driver may be able to forgive but forgetting is not possible.
When God tells us that He forgives our sin and removes it as far as the east is from the west, He no longer holds us responsible for that sin. If our sin is such that it resulted in a pregnancy, disease, or possible injury - the consequences of that will be a constant reminder. It becomes impossible to forget. The great news is that we aren't in bondage to it any more. Oh, what joy! This would also apply to sin committed by another that affects us. Christ alone is the one that can give us freedom from the slavery of sin - ours and others.
I will forever be affected by the crime that my former spouse committed. My children will forever be affected by it. However, we don't have to be controlled by it. God in his great mercy protected us through multiple years of single parenthood. God in his excellent mercy provided a new spouse - a love beyond my wildest dreams. And I hold this new relationship and love in a special place. I will fight to protect it. But, that's a story for another day.
(Father God, I am so blessed by the forgiveness that you have. Thank you for sending your only begotten Son that I might know the depth of that forgiveness. Thank you for His sacrifice on calvary so that I might know the height of that forgiveness. Thank you for raising him to life again so that I might know the width of that forgiveness. Praise your Holy Name for the forgiveness which was, which is, and which is to come. Hallelujah! In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Forgiveness, Part Two
PLEASE, FORGIVE ME!?
I am sorry. I did not intend to hurt or harm you in any way. I can't excuse what I did. Please, will you forgive me?
Part two of this series on forgiveness began as I thought about the seventh grade. My sincere apologies to my former classmates because I'm using your names in this post. This is the time where I learned just how mean we girls can be. We are a messed up bunch during the seventh grade. Our hormones are in super overdrive as we develop into "young ladies". Those hormones cause our emotions to run amuck.
I like Allison today. Stacy is not my friend this hour. Cretia called Allison a dufus and I agreed. Stacy and I laughed at Sharon's clothes. Ugh, Corina smells bad today, stay away from her. Maria has such pretty hair. Shanna wears the ugliest shoes. I told Cindy about Leann's secret. It was funny. I think Chris likes Allison. Allison likes Chad. Chad likes Maria. Everybody hates Doug and Susan.
In all that year, I don't ever remember thinking about how someone else might be affected by what I said or did. Unfortunately, I ignored that for many years and ever now and again I find that I haven't considered my actions. I also never considered what my classmates and friends might be going through at home.
Since the seventh grade, I've gone to college, spent five years in the Navy, worked for a few companies, and attended several different churches. I made oodles of new friends and offended most of them at some point in some way. I am trying to learn how to do this right. Please forgive me?
(Father God, I ask that You forgive me for not treating others as you would. Continue to teach me. If there are any specific people that I need to find and seek forgiveness from, please bring them to mind and open a way that we can heal our relationship. In the name of Jesus I ask, Amen.)
I am sorry. I did not intend to hurt or harm you in any way. I can't excuse what I did. Please, will you forgive me?
Part two of this series on forgiveness began as I thought about the seventh grade. My sincere apologies to my former classmates because I'm using your names in this post. This is the time where I learned just how mean we girls can be. We are a messed up bunch during the seventh grade. Our hormones are in super overdrive as we develop into "young ladies". Those hormones cause our emotions to run amuck.
I like Allison today. Stacy is not my friend this hour. Cretia called Allison a dufus and I agreed. Stacy and I laughed at Sharon's clothes. Ugh, Corina smells bad today, stay away from her. Maria has such pretty hair. Shanna wears the ugliest shoes. I told Cindy about Leann's secret. It was funny. I think Chris likes Allison. Allison likes Chad. Chad likes Maria. Everybody hates Doug and Susan.
In all that year, I don't ever remember thinking about how someone else might be affected by what I said or did. Unfortunately, I ignored that for many years and ever now and again I find that I haven't considered my actions. I also never considered what my classmates and friends might be going through at home.
Since the seventh grade, I've gone to college, spent five years in the Navy, worked for a few companies, and attended several different churches. I made oodles of new friends and offended most of them at some point in some way. I am trying to learn how to do this right. Please forgive me?
(Father God, I ask that You forgive me for not treating others as you would. Continue to teach me. If there are any specific people that I need to find and seek forgiveness from, please bring them to mind and open a way that we can heal our relationship. In the name of Jesus I ask, Amen.)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Forgiveness, Part One
I forgive you.
It's a tough way to start a series on forgiveness but I have to start somewhere. I forgive you for the offense. I will not take it into account when I think of you. I don't know what your day was like when the offense occurred therefore I cannot hold it against you in any shape, form, or fashion. I forgive you.
God has attempted to convict my heart on the topic of forgiveness many times over the years. He really poked me about it recently. How can I truly love and have charity for other humans if I don't forgive them?
My attitude needed an adjustment. Don't they have to ask for the forgiveness before I give it? Shouldn't they feel shame or sorrow for the hurt and misery they've caused? Surely they have to know that they have offended me before I can forgive them, right? Wrong. God calls me to forgive. Love doesn't keep score therefore I get the opportunity and blessing of giving forgiveness.
Sure, it's easy to forgive my fellow church member for not saying, "Hi!" on Sunday. It's easy to forgive the driver that pulled out in front of me. It's easy to forgive my kids when they skip a chore. It's easy to forgive my brother when he forgets my birthday. I can do that. I have done that.
It begins to get harder to forgive when someone has laughed at my ideas. It begins to be harder to forgive when someone tosses aside the work and effort that I put into a project. It's very difficult to forgive a friend that has betrayed a trust and gossiped. But, I can do that. I have done that.
Finally, reality begins to test my ability to forgive. I know it is painful and taxing to forgive the spouse that molested a child's friend, left that child emotionally scarred, left my children fatherless, and destroyed my marriage. That offense hurt. It wounded deeply. It hurt for a long time. But, by the grace of God, forgiveness has come. There is still grief over the losses but forgiveness has come.
You see, when I forgive you - truly forgive you - no matter the offense, it honors God. That is my desire - to honor God.
(Father God, I cannot keep the forgiveness that you so freely shared with me from others. I want to honor you in all that I do. By the power of Christ, I will seek to be kind to others, tenderhearted, forgiving others just as you have forgiven me. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God. Amen.)
It's a tough way to start a series on forgiveness but I have to start somewhere. I forgive you for the offense. I will not take it into account when I think of you. I don't know what your day was like when the offense occurred therefore I cannot hold it against you in any shape, form, or fashion. I forgive you.
God has attempted to convict my heart on the topic of forgiveness many times over the years. He really poked me about it recently. How can I truly love and have charity for other humans if I don't forgive them?
My attitude needed an adjustment. Don't they have to ask for the forgiveness before I give it? Shouldn't they feel shame or sorrow for the hurt and misery they've caused? Surely they have to know that they have offended me before I can forgive them, right? Wrong. God calls me to forgive. Love doesn't keep score therefore I get the opportunity and blessing of giving forgiveness.
Sure, it's easy to forgive my fellow church member for not saying, "Hi!" on Sunday. It's easy to forgive the driver that pulled out in front of me. It's easy to forgive my kids when they skip a chore. It's easy to forgive my brother when he forgets my birthday. I can do that. I have done that.
It begins to get harder to forgive when someone has laughed at my ideas. It begins to be harder to forgive when someone tosses aside the work and effort that I put into a project. It's very difficult to forgive a friend that has betrayed a trust and gossiped. But, I can do that. I have done that.
Finally, reality begins to test my ability to forgive. I know it is painful and taxing to forgive the spouse that molested a child's friend, left that child emotionally scarred, left my children fatherless, and destroyed my marriage. That offense hurt. It wounded deeply. It hurt for a long time. But, by the grace of God, forgiveness has come. There is still grief over the losses but forgiveness has come.
You see, when I forgive you - truly forgive you - no matter the offense, it honors God. That is my desire - to honor God.
(Father God, I cannot keep the forgiveness that you so freely shared with me from others. I want to honor you in all that I do. By the power of Christ, I will seek to be kind to others, tenderhearted, forgiving others just as you have forgiven me. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God. Amen.)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Simple Schedule Keeping
I admit I am the most miserable of schedule keepers. Without the external influence of a "job", I don't have a schedule to my day. I don't even have a routine that I can admit to keeping. Wait... I get up. I do stuff. I eat at some point. I do more stuff. I go to bed.
Yup, that's it. That is the extent of my routine. Whoo.
Now, I know that a routine is good for me. I know that Creation testifies that a routine is necessary. Spring is followed by Summer which is followed by Autumn which is followed by Winter which is followed by Spring. Ah, you get it. Night is followed by day which is followed by night which is... Ah, you get it.
So, why is it so difficult for me to stick to a routine? Why can't I get up at about the same time every day? Why can't I take a shower about the same time each day? Why can't I eat at approximately the same time each day? Why can't I? Why can't I read my Bible consistently? Why can't I pray regularly each day? Why can't I? Why can't I clean the kitchen as I cook? Why can't I finish the laundry all the way through to hanging it up? Why can't I?
I wonder, could it have something to do with Satan's deceptive practices? Have I allowed a foothold here in my life? Uh oh. This isn't going to be easy. Thankfully, God gives me all the strength I need. God alone can put me on the right path. God is the one I trust. Yes, it's that simple.
(Father God, I leave my routine in your hands. Thank you for creating me so wonderfully. I ask that you repel any attempts by the enemy to meddle in our day, our week, our month and our years. Be my strong tower and strengthen me. All this I ask in the powerful, healing name of Jesus, My Saviour. Amen.)
Yup, that's it. That is the extent of my routine. Whoo.
Now, I know that a routine is good for me. I know that Creation testifies that a routine is necessary. Spring is followed by Summer which is followed by Autumn which is followed by Winter which is followed by Spring. Ah, you get it. Night is followed by day which is followed by night which is... Ah, you get it.
So, why is it so difficult for me to stick to a routine? Why can't I get up at about the same time every day? Why can't I take a shower about the same time each day? Why can't I eat at approximately the same time each day? Why can't I? Why can't I read my Bible consistently? Why can't I pray regularly each day? Why can't I? Why can't I clean the kitchen as I cook? Why can't I finish the laundry all the way through to hanging it up? Why can't I?
I wonder, could it have something to do with Satan's deceptive practices? Have I allowed a foothold here in my life? Uh oh. This isn't going to be easy. Thankfully, God gives me all the strength I need. God alone can put me on the right path. God is the one I trust. Yes, it's that simple.
(Father God, I leave my routine in your hands. Thank you for creating me so wonderfully. I ask that you repel any attempts by the enemy to meddle in our day, our week, our month and our years. Be my strong tower and strengthen me. All this I ask in the powerful, healing name of Jesus, My Saviour. Amen.)
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